Say 'NO to Pre-Marital Sex!!!'

Blog - 102nd

Day - 819th

In last year on 13-14th March 2013; India’s the then union cabinet had passed ‘Criminal Law (Amendment) Act, 2013’. So many welcoming amendments were involved in that law but that Act had been mostly criticised in media and people last year. The then union government of India had decreased the age ratio for Consent Sex/Sexual relationship to 16 from 18 by the aim to less rapes. But after criticism of conservative peoples across the country and media same government repealed that law and changed age ratio for consent sex/sexual relationship as before i.e. 18 years on 11th December 2013. Now you might fall one question that why am I talking about that today. So… I read about a blogging contest on popular website Indiblogger.com on a debatable but one of the most important subject ‘YES/NO TO Pre-Marital Sex’! I don’t think this blog will complete without discussing about that law so I am talking about that act here after more than a year.

A question always comes in my mind that; will really shameful incidents like rapes decrease by doing changes like this in law? When age would be either 16 or 18 for sex with consent. I ask where is consent how can we call that relationship a rape?

Presently in India- To marry (21 for male), to smoke, to drink alcohol, to watch 'A' grade/Adult movies, to drive vehicles, to vote etc. so many things are prohibited by law till 18 years of age. Even 18 years age limit is applicable to consider adult criminals too!

I don’t want to oppose the then government’s that amendment of decreasing age to 16 from 18 to keep sexual relationships with consent. I welcome that decreased 16 years age (till 11th December 2013) for sex from when government hadn’t amend that law. I had wished that to happen on my twitter before 2 years from today on 10th and 11th October 2012; But not as age for sex with consent but age to marry. I know that you will condemn me reading what I am going to say next in this blog! You may wonder that I am telling Say ‘NO to Pre-Marital Sex’ as this blog title suggests at one side and I am taking favour of sex in 16 years of age at another side! But NO! Please don’t misjudge me. I am not a protagonist of Child Marriage.

I am not any knowledgeable in this subject but I can prove how is it correct psychologically whatever I am saying. According to my knowledge, observation and study; 12-16 years and 16-21 years of age is a Pre and Post PERIOD OF ADOLESCENCE in stages. 4 Years of Pre period of adolescence (i.e. 12-16 years) are very important.

‘ADOLESCENCE means to grow/to come of age’. A well known American psychologist GRANVILLE STANLEY HALL says "Adolescence is rebirth." In this period of Adolescence (i.e. 12-14 years of age), Human brain matures till 85% and starts changes in physical, sexual and inner glands of human body. Procreation ability becomes developed in girls at the stage of 12 years of their age after originating adolescence. As a matter of fact boys reaches puberty during 14-16 of their age while girls reaches during 12-14. In this period of adolescence boys and girls attracts to HETEROSEXUAL persons while few gays and lesbians born with unnatural physical body/sexual desires attracts to HOMOSEXUAL persons. After physical and sexual changes in body, Human desires to have sex, mind becomes fickle, human goes in depression; and at the end in the search of sex human (mostly boys) start doing distorted acts. Especially who finds someone, they have sex before getting married by cheating on the name of love which is unfair and unacceptable in any condition. Period of adolescence is also known by ‘Period of Storm and Stress’. In this period of age to have cultured behaviour is must to live beautiful life ahead otherwise human becomes addicted and start smoking, drinking; few people go through unnatural ways like hand-intercourse, homo-sex and go to prostitutes for short-lived comfort. And when People can’t find anyone, they become like devil and accept the most condemnable way of rape.

In the real sense sexual desires feels in same period and human’s mentality of this period becomes -- "I know what I do not want, but I don't know what I want." They need mental support of elders including parents. There are so many misunderstandings to be seen in society related with Sex. Sex is natural thing to do in right age after getting married but society thinks about sex like it is a sin.

Last year the then government had decreased Age of Consent to 16 from 18 for physical/sexual relationship . Yes! This Age of consent is 13 in Japan, 14 in China, Bangladesh, Germany, Italy & Argentina, 15 in France, 16 in England, Sri Lanka, America, Malaysia, Russia & in India for few days (Presently it is 18 as older in India); In Indonesia 19 for male & 16 for female while Sex before marriage/ ‘Nikah’ is prohibited in neighbour countries of India like Pakistan, Afganistan and Iran. Considering mentioned countries each one’s birth rate is much lower than India except China. Population in that countries is also very least whereas growing population is another one problem in India.

As I mentioned above most of the boys promise girls that they will get married, have sex before marriage and leave the girls by cheating. After having sex before marriage there is big possibility for girls to be pregnant. There is no guarantee that the couple who had Pre-Marital Sex in past will get married in future. Illegal abortion is another crime in India. In that case Can unmarried mother live with respect? I don’t think so! Because I have seen so many cases like this! In this case most of the girls accept a way of suicide than to be fight with society for respect. That’s why I suggest say ‘NO to Pre-Marital Sex.’

India is a well known country of cultured people. India is famous for it’s culture and simplicity in the world. Then what do we want to prove by having Pre-Marital Sex. Do we want to accept fully western culture? Already we have accepted that so much. I am not a conservative one but I don’t think this is right if we have Pre-Marital Sex. If this happen I would say law in Pakistan. Afganistan and Iran is much better in that matter. In India there is an age limit 21 for boys and 18 for girls to get married by law. So many Social reformers fought to grow this age limit and stop child marriage. I respect them and I am also not a supporter of child marriage but even then I want to ask you one question- Do really stop child marriages in India? I say No. Child marriages did not stop in Marathwada region of Maharashtra state. I had lived there few years ago and I observed it. Why to go long? No. 1 Marathi News channel IBN Lokmat had shown this is happening last year. There is not a least number of child marriages happening even today in Rajasthan and Haryana . I mentioned few names to give just examples but other state’s condition is also not good about child marriage.

When Amendment mentioned above had passed in Indian cabinet people (Specially girls) were asking one question that “Will government decrease the age limit to getting married too? I ask what would wrong in that if that would happen? I agree that there would also some mistakes if we think it negatively. Again I repeat that I am also NOT supporter of child marriage but I think marriage ratio should decrease. I know you will condemn but still I am stable on my statement. Because I can prove my statement write. Hmm I am not any expert of this subject so I can’t force you to accept my stand. Even then whatever I observed, studied and felt that I am trying to tell the society through this blog post.

I have already given psychological statistics for those who think 14 years girls aren’t Mentally Mature. I neither support Child Marriage nor Pre-Marital Sex. I have mentioned above why do peoples go for pre-marital sex and what are the demerits of it for themselves and for society. Ex.- Acceptance of western culture, growing rapes, illegal abortions, feticides and unmarried mothers etc. But I honestly think government should decrease the age limit to get married till 19-16 which is Age of Consent in Indonesia. I know that this is very challenging but this one strong decision can be a big solution for so many possible problems behind Pre-Marital Sex. Means illegal child marriages will be legal, if loving couple will be married their will no question arise of unmarried mother; there will no need to illegal abort/feticide if mother would married, If physical relationship will maintain after marriage there will no question of acceptance of western culture and the great Indian culture will be stable. In fact who do go through wrong/unnatural deeds will avoid and automatically rapes might be decrease. Most important thing is if government decrease age ratio for marriage loving couples will have sex after marriage instead of Pre-Marital Sex.

Now one question arises that- Is 17 years of age mature to be a mother? I would explain this with an example- Dr. Jerado & Dr. Busaliu had successfully operated a sezerian operation on 5 years old girl LINA MEDINA who was born on 27th September 1933 in Ticrapo in Peru on dated 14th May 1939; She had given a birth to a healthy child Jerado at her 5! I agree that this may be an exception but we can’t ignore it though I am also not supporting this one; but we shall not forget that there is more than triple difference between 5 and 17 years. Now one question remains that; Are 17 years old mother and 20 years father mentally prepared to rear a child/children? Possibly No! But after illegal child marriage same thing happens, and after Pre-Marital Sex victim suffers from same trouble; If couple goes from this phase after marriage parents and society will also accept couples with child and parents will certainly get family support.

Now you may ask me a question that suppose age limits decreases to get married there may be ignore serious issues like education of girls. Your question is also right. But I want to ask how many youths do wed at perfect 21-18 when it is marriage age ratio today? Who want to cross this age limit for education, jobs and/or any other reason they surely can as youth do today by marrying generally at 25-22 or more. Same can be done also after decreasing this age ratio by waiting for higher education, to make career, job, or by intentionally for no reason.

I know that my friends & readers will go against of mine, few will misunderstand and will doubt on my character. But I will not change my stand. Because whatever I am talking about is neither for them nor for me/us who can and will wait for marriage. This is not for me/us/them who will never have Pre-Marital Sex even if I/we/they got free opportunity to have sex in life before getting married. This blog is for them who can not wait till marriage ratio 21-18 or later till they get married and have Pre-Marital Sex.

I am neither an expert nor a philosopher of this subject but I have more than 10 years experience in writing and I am just a young blogger of 22 years old. May be my blog create a controversy but my aim is not that so I say if you don’t agree what I said just ignore it but whatever I felt I am writing and will write. In fact I can write whole book on this topic.

There is unawareness about Sex in society. I think Sexual Education should include in short in Primary Education and in detail in Secondary Education to stop Pre-Marital Sex . By including Sexual Education as a compulsory subject in educational curriculum sensational concepts like Physical & Sexual changes in body, LGBT, Homo-sex & Hetero-sex can be explain at right age to the students. Students should be informed about safe relationship, Merits & Demerits and Effects of Sex.

There is a need to change mentality of society about Sex today. There is a need of sexual awareness in society. Today this sensational matter of sex should be discussed with parents and family in home instead of ignoring it. I feel lucky myself that my family doesn’t hesitate to discuss about this. If discussion about sex in friendly manner will not held in family there are lot of chances to create misunderstandings about physical changes and sex in children and youth because of lack of knowledge. We can use entertaining devices to promote sexual awareness in children and youths. Today there are Television (TV) sets available in almost every house. Everyone like to watch TV. Most of the Children are imitator and think real whatever they watch in movies, serials, advertisements on TV and try to copy them. Today I see vulgar and bold scenes in so many family serials and movies for just TRP/success on box office. This is to be seen in so many dances and advertisements too! I don’t mind if this see where it seems necessary as story requirement. But before showing negative bold/vulgar scenes in family programmes for just TRP producers should think that whether impact shall not be negative on children. I think instead of showing sexual products like condoms through bold and vulgar images and videos sexual awareness message can be conveyed via advertisements and films creating like Marathi movie ‘Balak-Palak.’ In fact there is a need of more films on sexual education but regret is films like Secrets Of Sex on sexual education seen with bold views with ‘A’ Grade (Adult) Certificate; I fell one question that how does Sensor Board permit films like that on the name of Sex Education! If films on sexual educational will be ‘FOR ADULTS ONLY/Sirf Vayaskon Ke Liye’ then how can we get sexual education in real sense? That’s why I think Film producers and sensor board should deeply think that what should be shown and what not!

Finally I hope one day it will happen what I wish. At the end I suggest my friends and all those who are reading this Please strictly say NO to Pre-Marital Sex!! Don’t imitate western culture. Respect Indian Culture. At the end I thank <POONAAM UPPAL and INDIBLOGGER team for organising a contest on this very important and sensational subject YES/NO to Pre-Marital Sex. You can buy Poonaam Uppal’s True Love Story – A Mystical True Love Story on Flipkart.

THANKS A LOT.

-RAJESH D. HAJARE (RDH)

(Blogger of this Blog is the Gondia District President of Akhil Bhartiya Marathi Sahitya Parishad, Pune)

Mo. No.: 07588887401, 07744018492

Email ID- www.rdh@gmail.com

[Sources- Wikipedia, Psychology-DTEd 1st Year-Phadke Publication, Facebook & www.rdhsir.mwb.im]